He Chose This Track by Emma Lee
He was the physics graduate
who couldn’t operate a washing machine.
The grade eight pianist whose fingers
shook too much to caress the keys.
The man who’d argue addiction wasn’t his fault
and, in the next breath, deny he drank.
He wanted the band to make it so he could
be managed, but skipped rehearsals,
wrote clichés and watched his history.
He said his biggest achievement was marriage,
but chose not to see he was killing the thing he loved,
the thing who refused to enable him,
the thing he undermined by turning to family
who would pay for him not to return to them.
His tragedy was that he chose not to see the band
imploding, chose not to see unreasonable behaviour
on divorce papers, didn’t see connections,
chose to press self-destruct.
Emma Lee’s recent collection is “Ghosts in the Desert” (IDP, UK 2015). “The Significance of a Dress” is forthcoming from Arachne (UK). She co-edited “Over Land, Over Sea,” (Five Leaves, UK, 2015), reviews for The Blue Nib, High Window Journal, The Journal, London Grip, Sabotage Reviews and blogs at http://emmalee1.wordpress.com.